September 24th

Oh september 24th why today?

You were the red ribbon I’d tie to a tree to find my way back.

You were what the doctor says to use each time I close my eyes and think back to when I didn’t need a clock on the wall.

Times were always good.

My motivation.

You were an excuse for being unstable – acceptable.

You grew into me september 24th. And then outgrew me – fall.

So happy to have you around. A break from the burns. 3 layers of skin unrevivable.

When you came around you covered me with 3 layers of cotton. Polyester. Fancy silk.

I wrap to unwrap.

I would love for you to see.

I would reintroduce myself to you over and over again with a little less than an ounce of confidence applied each time.

I should never miss you. For the seasons change but you are same as me.

We’ve adapted to this indecisive, this unstable pace. We keep up.

And when I fell back. You were there. You couldnt have been rough on me because I am the tough one.

You- stronger, though allowed me to fulfil what keeps me mentally ahead.

Ive been shaken bad until brain worms ooze down my sideburns- out of the eardrums. Still.

You seeked me for insight.

You taught. I explained.

Oh september 24th why today?

A surprise without gaining age? Or a present unwrapped?
Oh September 24th. I choose you.

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Tempted

I really don’t know what to write.

I really want to write.

With just that, I can say I am satisfied but I know there is more to come.

The temptation.

I am tempted to commit an act of literature but not sure how to attack.

It may be a vicious encounter as I am frustrating by the word.

This isn’t what I really want to say. I am wasting – just wasting.

But these are words I realize.

Though these are words, I realize there still remains that tiny knot of tangled unsatisfaction and separation of me a few months ago when I loved to write.

Maybe that was when topics mattered.

Maybe topics don’t matter.

It is the temptation that is vicariously written through us.

Since I am tempted

I am okay.

Distance

To infinity and beyond…

I mean literally.

It’s been a while since my closest friends say they’ve seen me

Only a few miles away from each other

Yet strangers.

I’m not complaining.

Please, take your time giving me time.

And who’s counting?

Only the measurements of distance are important

As my mind wanders on the numbers…

Give me time

Friends

I hope we’re still good
I hope you haven’t changed
I hope I won’t have to introduce myself to you again
I hope we can be the best of bandits together
I hope you understood
Distant creates distance
Space that has to be maintained
Until now
Fuck that
How are you?

Can’t We All Be Cocky

Who ever said it was bad to love yourself? Promote yourself? Route for yourself? Basketball players never hope the other team wins…right!? I personally believe it’s actually easier to pinpoint your love for other things in the world once you clarify the amount of love you have for yourself. I find it completely wrong and unhealthy to talk down on someone or hate someone for loving the life they live- in the body they’re in. It’s unfair to that person. You can’t hate me because I’m cocky. Being cocky to me doesn’t only mean you think are the sexiest person in the world or you are the best in sports. I see it as having the most confidence in a toxic environment. We are one of the strongest because I guess being so wrapped up in how great oneself is; it enables us to forget all the negativity and B.S and we are forever happy with what we do and how we do it. A lot of people hate cocky people for being braggers. I don’t blame ’em! I believe there’s two types of cocky the humble (me) and the un-humble (them). I hate braggers! (who doesn’t) I say everyone should take the time and actually find yourselves. I don’t mean figuring out your best hobbies or favorite foods but your unique purpose, appreciating your traits, and proudly showing off your talents and best life qualities with high hopes that others are witnessing the greatness before them.

Dear

My heart is currently in the process of being broken. It’s like falling in a dream. Slowly, but surely I will hit rock bottom. This has happened before but it made me an entirely different person. It made me – me. I am afraid of what the outcome would be. I am completely alright though. This isn’t a new experience for me. I should hate the person that is doing this to me (for the second time) but I don’t. I actually miss them and want to be nothing but a friend to them once more but I think it’s too late. When the thought of it being too late crosses my mind all of that sad energy quickly turns into bad energy. Hate. I wan’t everything that can possibly ruin this persons day to occur everyday. I want your birthday to not go as planned. I want everything to remind you of me. I want you to reach out to me and regret it as I have to you. I want you to know that I only think of you when I think of the people who ruined me. I regret meeting you even though we’ve had some great times. I can’t wait for the day I’ll hardly remember you. The day your memory doesn’t phase me. The day I’ll show you selfish with my last breath. But right now…if you text me I’ll instantly respond. I’ll apologize one more time. I’ll make it work a second time. I’ll suck up to you. I’ll forgive you. Because I am just that easy going. Typing this I feel like I am becoming who you are making me become already. I feel strong and experienced. I feel more hate for you now. I can’t wait to get over you.

Find Out

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What do I love? Find out.

Me…I’m too shy to willingly share

Or maybe I’m scared..

Or maybe I wanna see how much you genuinely care.

But, maybe its fair..

Me, so rare

You over there..

From here I can tell you’re a bit unprepared

But that’s what makes our moments so special

I love you more when you ask questions

Showing your curiosity

Now I’ve seen perfection

And you say you love me back

I believe you that’s why I ask…

Can you walk with me? The weather is nice.

A little windy and we’re expecting rain, but that’s alright.

No shortcuts tonight as we walk until we sweat.

Talk off my head … I’ll make you laugh again

We’ll look up and realize that we’re lost on a dark block

But then we’d keep our hopes high as we continue to flock

It’s the first store in miles, I randomly point out

You insist we go in and fill up our mouths

These are the moments, they’re why we’re a part

How life is a journey

A trip to your heart